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Share Last 12 months, I brought you the story of Pc Steve Hutton, from Swindon, who used his initiative to seize a fugitive from a high-velocity police chase alongside the M4. Pc Hutton ran after one of 4 men who fled from a stolen car. With the suspect getting away, he shouted out that he was a dog handler and ordered him to cease. In case chummy was in any doubt, Pc Hutton began barking. The man gave himself up immediately. It wasn’t the primary time he had resorted to this ingenious ruse. He mentioned at the time: ‘I’ve carried out it earlier than when I used to be based mostly in Salisbury and we were making an attempt to get a man at a school. Now he’s executed it once more. Pc Hutton not too long ago spotted a man needed for breaching a restraining order. He told the suspect to freeze or he’d set the canine on him — although there was no canine.

The other was Fat Eric, the crooked hairdresser played by the late Ken Parry, in a 1975 edition of The Sweeney, back after we used to have proper television programmes — not so-known as ‘reality’ dross like TOWIE. Call me old-fashioned, however when I was 27, I was married with two kids, on to my fourth mortgage and was making an attempt to hold down a high-stress job on a busy Fleet Street newspaper. Pitt the Younger was 24 when he turned Prime Minister, for heaven’s sake. Yet at that age, it would seem, most millennials haven’t even labored out if they're male, female or gender fluid. No surprise they're the primary technology who can count on to be worse off than their dad and mom. Brigitte Trogneux, glamorous 64-12 months-outdated spouse of presidential entrance-runner Emmanuel Macron, has put the Phwoar-factor in the French election. She’s what we call in the Anglosphere a ‘cougar’ — a woman of a sure age who feasts on younger men. Macron is 25 years her junior and Brigitte used to teach him when he was 15 years outdated. Two years later, he stated he was going to marry her. In France, she’s celebrated as a liberated, feminine function mannequin. There’s nothing frigid about Brigitte, n’est pas? Donnez-la un pour moi! But what if La Trogneux was a 64-12 months-outdated male trainer, who was now hooked up with a female pupil he taught when she was only 15? In Britain, it can be a job for the Jimmy Savile squad. My pal Colin Dunne, an occasional contributor to this parish, wonders why Marine Le Pen isn’t often called Marine La Plume in French?

For impact, though, he repeatedly shouted ‘sit’, ‘stay’ and ‘lie down’ to the imaginary K-9 lurking behind his police automobile. It did the trick and the bewildered man surrendered. Pc Hutton stated: ‘Luckily, I didn’t need to bark this time.’ That’s a relief. But full marks for initiative. Clearly the threat of being seized by a police canine is a simpler deterrent even than being Tasered. Let’s hope senior officers take be aware. With canine numbers declining, perhaps it’s time they started training all coppers in the art of barking. Islamist terrorists, as an illustration, are terrified of canines, which they consider unclean. This might sort out crime and keep costs down in a single fell swoop. And it is also prolonged to the mounted division. Pc Hutton missed out on last year’s Mind How you Go Awards, but he did make the annual Makes You Proud To Be British Quiz. As all the time, it helps if you sing along .

He’s at all times on the beat. Pretends that he’s obtained paws. Oh . . . He barks when he’s at dwelling. He barks when he’s alone. But I think I’ve received a lead’. Oh . . . Who’d had it on his toes. He adopted his wet nostril. Within the native park. And then started to bark. Oh . . . Or a tin of Kennomeat. His bark’s worse than his chew. Oh . . . Eric Pickles is standing down as MP for TOWIE. He’s represented Brentwood — spiritual house of The one Way Is Essex — since 1992, when he moved south after serving as chief of Bradford Council, in his native Yorkshire. I’ve all the time slightly liked Eric, a roly-poly character with a streak of common sense in a sea of identikit, I-converse-your-weight-machine politicians. He additionally has the distinction of being one in every of solely two Fat Erics to capture the public’s imagination — both of them from Ooop North.

The police are all the time complaining about public spending cuts, which they are saying are having a severe impression on their potential to combat everything from burglary to terrorism. Only last week, we learned that up to a 3rd of all home abuse instances are being screened out because there's inadequate manpower to research every complaint. Her Majesty’s Inspectorate of Constabulary additionally warned that emergency calls were being downgraded because of a shortage of officers. Chief constables are below growing strain to avoid wasting cash. One way they are trying to make ends meet is by reducing the number and size of canine divisions. In Essex, the canine unit has been cut in half, to just a dozen animals and their handlers. Greater Manchester has fallen from 130 seven years in the past to only 36 as we speak. Other forces are having to merge their K-9 items. Within the West Country, there are solely ever two canine obtainable at anybody time to cowl thousands and thousands of people in three counties. Desperate occasions name for desperate measures. One officer, specifically, believes multi-tasking is the reply.